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July 7, 2012
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I was barely fifteen
when I used to say
"I wanna die young".
You know, it's not just
that being old sucks,
it's that responsibility
is the mask of a huge loss:
you'll be never more as free as a kid.
I have been coherent,
I have spent all my life
escaping adulthood.
But now, she is coming, closer than ever.
I sense her, right beside me, waiting.
I courted her for so many years
that she has started following me wherever I go.
This time I guess I'll kiss her.
I observe the needle,
knowing that it's not me
who controls the hand
that drives it into my flesh.
As she starts to hug me
and the world to fade,
I murmur to my lover
"And yet twenty is so soon..."
:iconkwatzhewrote:
Something that popped out my mind this morning, along with the song "Injection", by Rise Against.
I'm not entirely happy with it, maybe it is banal.

Edit:
I noticed that, due to an (un?)fortunate word's place choice, some of the readers understand that "she" is the adulthood. Originally, though, it was meant to be the Death (see explanation below). I haven't thought to it, but I find that it is an interesting alternative. So, choose the meaning you prefer.

The main argument against drugs is often "they kill you before your time comes", but it doesn't work with some people, because they answer "I don't want to live the time beyond my youth, because that will probably be the only happy period in my life, so I want to spend it trying all the entertainments that I can, without worrying about the future". My thesis is that it is easy to have these kind of thoughts when you are young and your death seems so far away, but when you grow up you change your view of life, your opinion about what really is happiness: you accept being adult and all what it implies because you start wanting it, not because of an external imposition.
The protagonist chooses to live the "extreme", and in this sense courts Death, but when she finally comes, the day of their overdose, they realize that they still like too much life to die, but it is too late.
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:iconsemi-surreal:
Mood: Wow! *semi-surreal Aug 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
By coincidence, my YouTube channel's feature-video is "Die Young" - which I just set up a few days ago - so I was playing that song as I was visiting your page! I'm also pleased that WitWitch appears below, in your comment section; since she & you had quite a profound - and eloquent - discussion on her recent Wiccan forum, which I just got thru reading!

Proponents of Carl Jung's "synchronicity", and the similar "Law of Attraction" would be delighted by all this!
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:iconkwatzhewrote:
~KwatzHeWrote Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, what a nice coincidence!
However thanks, even though I'm not very familiar to Jung's doctrine...
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:iconsemi-surreal:
Mood: Joy *semi-surreal Aug 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You should google Jung's "synchronicity" and the similar "Law of Attraction" - it will help you appreciate WitWitch's perspective.

Ironically, although it's not technically "hard science", it is a very interesting "unifying theory" (for lack of a better phrase) to 1) probability theory + 2) chaos theory + 3) human psychology [the most important component of the three]!

After all...we are all ultimately subjective creatures. For example, the Favourites you chose on dA weren't analyzed by you for their objective "angstrom" quantities or their standardized "color-charts" etc. - they simply LOOKED GOOD to you, haha!
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:iconmillisecond:
~Millisecond Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This piece flows nicely as free verse. You picked near perfect places to start and finish your lines and it reads very smoothly. I think I guessed that 'she' referred to death (not sure if you edited the story after you posted, though?) and it's a fascinatingly destructive concept. I like how this focuses more on the 'why' of hedonism rather than the outworkings; it's clever. :+fav:
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:iconkwatzhewrote:
~KwatzHeWrote Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, I'm happy that you liked it. I didn't edit it, though.
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:iconmillisecond:
~Millisecond Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah good, that means your original idea was spot on :)
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:iconwitwitch:
~witwitch Jul 19, 2012  Student Writer
The poem communicated to me that the speaker felt as though he wanted to live in never-never-land, though, I never got the drug reference. I didn't realize the needle was intended to reference a drug until I'd read your comments.

Even so, the piece does communicate the feeling of regret for dying young, despite it being what the speaker wished for.
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:iconkwatzhewrote:
~KwatzHeWrote Jul 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the comment.
The reference to a drug was meant to be these lines:
"I observe the needle,
knowing that it's not me
who controls the hand
that drives it into my flesh."
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:iconwitwitch:
~witwitch Jul 19, 2012  Student Writer
Ahh. I was a bit confused by that line, thanks for clearing it up.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
~intricately-ordinary Jul 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's so clever how you described age as a person, of interest especially. And I've gotten this feeling before (or something close.) I love it because of the way you spun the story.
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