I was barely fifteen
when I used to say
"I wanna die young".
You know, it's not just
that being old sucks,
it's that responsibility
is the mask of a huge loss:
you'll be never more as free as a kid.
I have been coherent,
I have spent all my life
escaping adulthood.
But now, she is coming, closer than ever.
I sense her, right beside me, waiting.
I courted her for so many years
that she has started following me wherever I go.
This time I guess I'll kiss her.
I observe the needle,
knowing that it's not me
who controls the hand
that drives it into my flesh.
As she starts to hug me
and the world to fade,
I murmur to my lover
"And yet twenty is so soon..."
Proponents of Carl Jung's "synchronicity", and the similar "Law of Attraction" would be delighted by all this!
However thanks, even though I'm not very familiar to Jung's doctrine...
Ironically, although it's not technically "hard science", it is a very interesting "unifying theory" (for lack of a better phrase) to 1) probability theory + 2) chaos theory + 3) human psychology [the most important component of the three]!
After all...we are all ultimately subjective creatures. For example, the Favourites you chose on dA weren't analyzed by you for their objective "angstrom" quantities or their standardized "color-charts" etc. - they simply LOOKED GOOD to you, haha!
Even so, the piece does communicate the feeling of regret for dying young, despite it being what the speaker wished for.
The reference to a drug was meant to be these lines:
"I observe the needle,
knowing that it's not me
who controls the hand
that drives it into my flesh."